You must have read at a lot of places now, now that social media is often found flooding with-how we need to cater to the emotional and psychological needs of children. And rightly so, I shall say!
When we were young, I can’t remember anyone talking about the emotional needs of us. No one spoke about it; if you were crying, there was a solvable reason, if not, you better stop crying! It was (not) okay to be sad, was (not) okay to be upset about things, (not) okay to feel anything but happy, or angry (mostly acceptable, if angry with your siblings, over food or a petty remote fight) other than that, there wasn’t much encouragement about feelings. This was quite bad if you ask me now. But here’s the thing, strangely so, if I look in retrospect, I was a happy child.
A happy child because most of my approval came from my parents, or family and sometimes a few close friends, but never from people on Facebook, or snap chat, or Instagram or any other platform that I'm most certainly outdated to know about.
I was content because my parents took out time for me. They both worked through the week, my father went on to his business, and my mom managed the household (I would always call that a full-time job). But Sundays were our days!
My father always made sure we planned our Sundays ahead; we always got excited about them. The day was planned on around a lot of things though; the weather, my father’s pocket, if we were expected at a relative’s place, if there was something new that came to town, if we were good throughout the week, and our health.
But the most that I remember, and miss, now as an adult, are picnics!
The months between October and March were bliss! We would find new gardens and different places where we could picnic, good food, and games, and even more fun! They were a treat! We would usually go with close friends or family, and make a day out of it!
My father, if I could say, is a grown-up version of Dora- the Explorer! He would save magazine articles and would ask around religiously about anywhere that was new! And we would visit that (if within our reach).
However, our travel adventures are for another time.
I am here for you to know "how your child is missing their childhood", and sadly you’re at fault! Let me elaborate. So when was the last time, you sat with your child and coloured a page of a book, if it weren’t for their homework? When was the last Sunday you visited a new place that wasn’t a mall? When was the last time you packed a picnic basket and laid bedcovers on the grass of a play area? When was the last time you had a potluck, which wasn’t just for mere gloating of your new decor or crockery?
We have money for them, to get a laptop, I Pads, and mobiles, and allowances to be on social media because we don’t have time to be in their lives anymore. And then we go on complaining “Oh my daughter is stuck on her phone the entire day!" “Oh my son, won’t open his room, and I only wonder what he does?!” Any update I know of my wad is when they post online. And most parents can’t even do that, because their children won’t accept their requests on social media. Since you kept them out, you should not blame them, if they mean to keep you out now!
It is absolutely crucial to give them time, to make a plan that involves them, to take them to picnics, and luncheons, and have them have memories that they will cherish when they grow up. They will not miss you for having bought them the new toys! Or getting them a new nanny, or luring them with gadgets. They will think of you fondly when they will visit a place and remember that you all came for a picnic there. They will miss you; from the times you spent with them sans gadgets, not the things you could substitute your love with, with money!
So, I hope the next time you leave home with them, you will have tickets to a play, or a pottery class, a simply packed basket of food for your picnic, or anything you all enjoy as a family.
To conclude, I simply urge you, I urge you to spend time with the lovely creatures you created, I urge you to spend precious moments with them, I urge you to spare a while for them, I urge you to stop buying memories, for they can never be bought! I urge you to help your child, have a childhood!
Until then,
Love, A
